Dominate or be dominated
Why Do Men With Half Your Brains Get the Promotion, the Respect and the Woman?
It isn't luck, looks or money. It's one thing they do that you were never taught. This book shows you what it is.
Paperback US$67 · Hardcover US$97 · Ships worldwide
“I thought I knew what was holding me back. I wasn't even close.”
Other People Are Already Running Your Life. You Just Call It Being Reasonable.
Be honest. ClickTap every one that happened to you this year.
Your score: 1 of 7
It Starts Small. It Never Stays Small.
Every time you give in, the next time gets easier.
Read this book while it's still one or two. Wait, and it spreads to the rest of your life.
People Have Learned That You'll Give In.
So they'll keep taking a little more every year. It won't stop by itself.
You need this book. Without it, next year's list is longer.
Other People Are Running Your Life.
Keep going like this, and in ten years you'll look back on a life other people picked for you.
You need this book more than most men. Don't put this one off.
Everyone Decides for You. Except You.
That isn't bad luck. It's how people have learned to treat you.
It won't change until you do. This book was written for exactly where you are.
Nobody ordered you to do any of it. They just made it awkward, and you gave in.
You gave up what you wanted so they'd feel comfortable. You called it keeping the peace.
They got the peace. You paid for it.
And it adds up.
A Saturday here. A promotion there.
A “fine, whatever” every week.
Ten years of being reasonable, and the life you wanted only exists in your head.
In life, you either dominate, or you are dominated. There is no third way.
If you don't decide how you spend your time, someone else will. Or an old habit will.
You Were Trained to Obey Before You Were Old Enough to Question It.
- At the dinner table: “We don't ask for things.”
- At school: “Don't get ahead of yourself.”
- At work: “Pay your dues.”
Wait. Earn. Ask. Explain.
It made you easy to raise, easy to grade, cheap to employ, and easy to take for granted.
You've been obeying rules you never agreed to. You call it manners.
Your time. Your decisions.
The final say in your own life.
How much more are you going to give away?
Press and hold, or tap, to enlarge the photo.
You Can Earn a Fortune and Still Take Orders at Home.
Most men think power comes with money.
- Earn more.
- Get promoted.
- Buy the car.
- Look the part.
Then people will finally respect you.
So they chase it for ten years.
Some of them get it.
The big job. The six figures.
The big house.
- And they still let the loudest guy in the room run the show.
- They still say “fine” when she plans their weekend.
- They still laugh along when the boss makes them the joke.
- They still lie awake replaying an argument they lost.
The money changed their address. It didn't change who's in charge.
Money buys the look of power. Anyone can fake the look.
Real power is what changes because you're in the room. Money can't buy that.
The man who has it never needs to show you his car.
So if it isn't money, what is it?
The Loudest Man Doesn't Win. The Man Who Sets the Frame Does.
Every conversation has a frame. It's one person's version of what's going on, what matters and who's in charge.
Two men meet. Two frames.
Only one wins.
If it isn't yours, it's theirs.
Then you spend the whole conversation playing by their rules. Explaining, defending yourself, waiting for them to say yes.
You've felt it.
- The meeting where you walked in with a plan and walked out with their to-do list.
- The date where you spent two hours trying to impress her.
- The night out where one guy decided everything, and you just went along.
Most men fight it with force.
The louder voice. The harder stare.
The sharper comeback.
They win the argument, and still end up doing what the other guy wanted.
Force doesn't work.
The men who run every room they walk into aren't louder than you. They aren't smarter, richer or better looking.
They do one thing you were never taught. They do it early, before anyone notices there's a contest.
Once you see it, you can't unsee it.
You'll spot it in every meeting, every date, every argument.
You'll know exactly who is running the room.
And how to make it you.
Messages from readers
Read all 20 messagesHere's the Man You Become.
Picture twelve months from now.
Same city. Same job, maybe.
Same face in the mirror.
But the man in the mirror doesn't wait any more. He doesn't explain himself.
He doesn't ask anyone's permission.
And the world around him has started to bend.
People Take You Seriously.
Your boss. Your friends.
The woman across the table.
You stop trying to prove yourself. You say it once, and people listen.
You walk into a room like you belong there, and people treat you that way.
Nobody Walks Over You at Work.
The job nobody wanted lands on someone else's desk.
You ask for the promotion instead of waiting to be noticed.
And the coworker who took credit for your work doesn't try it twice.
Your No Ends the Conversation.
One sentence. No speech.
No apology. No long excuse.
They push, and you don't move. They sulk, and you let them.
Soon they stop asking.
No More Guessing With Women.
No more rereading her messages at 2 a.m. No more waiting for a sign.
You tell her what you want while she's still interested.
She says yes or she says no. Either way, you walk away with your head up.
No More Lying Awake Replaying It.
No more rehearsing what you should have said.
You said it. At the table.
In the moment.
And you sleep like a man who said what he meant.
The Thing You Keep Putting Off Finally Happens.
The business you've been “about to start” for three years finally starts.
The move you called unrealistic gets a date.
You stop talking about it. You start doing it.
Your Past Stops Holding You Back.
The embarrassment at school. The business that failed.
The girl who laughed at you.
They stop being proof of who you are. They go back to being what they always were: one bad day.
You stop living like the boy you were.
Things Happen Because You Said So.
The trip gets booked. The call gets made.
The meeting goes with your idea.
Your friends show up to plans you made.
You stop watching other men live the life you wanted, and start living it in front of them.
People Notice. Some Will Hate You for It.
Old friends and coworkers. The guy who used to talk over you.
You'll get haters. That's fine.
Every match, every stadium: half the crowd is against you, no matter what you do.
So don't play to please them. Win so big it blinds them.
And they'll all try to explain it away.
They'll say it's money, status, looks, luck or connections.
The same wrong answers you believed before this book.
They don't know your secret. You have this book.
Let them guess.
Every Chapter Is a Moment You've Lost. Here's How You Win It Next Time.
- p. 20
The one change that lets you walk into a job interview as the one doing the choosing, not the one being judged.
- p. 91
How one embarrassing moment at 14 can make you turn down the best man speech at 34, and how to take away its power.
- p. 275
“If you were a real friend, you'd do it.” What to say when a favour gets turned into a test of your loyalty.
- p. 97
People see far less of your nerves than you think. Why that changes how you handle the meeting, the date and every tense moment.
- p. 194
How to finish your point when someone keeps cutting in, so what you came to say actually gets said.
- p. 104
How one flattering line can have you proving yourself to a total stranger, and how to spot it coming.
- p. 56
How to stop other people's favours eating your evenings and weekends, and why doing it isn't selfish.
- p. 220
How to walk into a party where you know almost nobody and leave with plans.
What Keeps Happening to You?
ClickTap the one that sounds like you. See where the book deals with it.
Stuck in one of these right now? The Find the Situation index at the back takes you straight to it.
Warning: This Book Will Cost You Some People.
If you want to stay liked by everyone, close this page now.
This book will change how you see your life, and what you do about it. Some of what you do will cost you. Friendships end over this. So do jobs. So do marriages.
Say No Once, and Watch Who Stops Smiling.
You keep your Saturday. A friend stops calling.
You turn down the extra project. Your boss goes cold.
You don't laugh at the joke. The table goes quiet.
Your mother says, “You used to be so easygoing.”
She means it kindly.
It still means you used to be easier to push around.
They'll call you selfish.
Difficult. Arrogant.
They'll say you've changed.
They'll be right.
Every decision from here is yours. So is every consequence.
You Won't Find My Life Story Here.
I'm Stevan Terzic.
I'm not going to tell you how I went from nobody to somebody. Those stories are fun to read. They don't change what happens on your Monday.
A lesson you can use on Monday does. So here's your first lesson:
Status is shown and never claimed.
The man who has to tell you he's somebody is telling you he isn't sure.
He mentions his salary. He drops names. He lists his wins on a first date. The more he says, the less anyone believes him.
You already know this. If this section were a list of my wins, you'd have skipped it.
Here's the part you won't like. You do it too.
You tell your boss how hard you've been working. You explain your decisions before anyone questions them. You tell her how well work is going before she's asked.
You think you're making your case. They hear a man who isn't sure.
The book shows you what to do instead: at work, with women, at home.
This book is about your life, not mine. It's written so the next story worth telling is yours.
You won't need to tell it. People will see it.
Messages From Readers
ClickTap a message to read it in full.
Get Bending the World to Your Will
The manual for men who are done taking orders. At work, with women, at home and inside your own head. Built for the exact moments you back down. Get it before the next one.
What you get
- 15 laws that make you the one who decides. Short, blunt and built to use. Read one tonight. Use it tomorrow.
- What to say when it counts. The meeting, the no, the insult, the date, the group chat. How to say it so it lands, and how to hold your ground when they push.
- Why you give in before you've even decided. The 4 ideas behind every time you backed down, so you see it coming next time.
- Find the Situation. Over 60 real problems, each one pointing to the chapter that deals with it. Read it once. Keep it for life.
One hour with a good coach costs more than this book. The coach goes home after an hour. This book comes with you into every conversation. Waiting costs more: a Saturday here, a promotion there, a “fine, whatever” every week. The first time you don't back down, it has paid for itself.
Paperback
The One You Carry.
US$67
- The complete book, with the 15 laws and Find the Situation
- Fits in your bag and comes with you to work
- Made to be underlined and used, not kept on a shelf
6 × 9 inches, softcover. Printed to order and shipped to you.
Hardcover
The One You Keep.
US$97
Only US$30 more than the paperback.
- The same complete book, in a hardcover built to last
- Made for the man who will reread it for years
- The copy that stays on your desk for the next twenty years
Printed to order and shipped to you.
- Worldwide shipping
- Printed to order
- Secure checkout
Prices in US dollars, before tax and shipping.
Before You Decide.
Is this another “alpha male” book?
No chest-beating. No tricks.
The book says the opposite: force is what men use when they have no direction.
Here, dominance means you set the direction, and people choose to follow.
Will this turn me into a jerk?
You'll say no more often, and people will trust your yes more.
Every law in the book works with people, not against them.
I'm not a confident guy. Is this for me?
It's written for you.
You don't need to feel confident to use it.
You need to know your next move. The book gives it to you.
I've read books like this before.
Most tell you who to be.
This one shows you what to say and do in the moment: when your boss says no, when the joke is on you, when she goes quiet.
Why US$67 for a book?
Because one “fine, whatever” at work costs you more than that.
So does one promotion you were too polite to ask for.
When will it arrive?
Every copy is printed to order and shipped worldwide.
There Are Only Two Kinds of Men.
One leads. One follows. One speaks up. One stays quiet. One makes the plans. One waits to be invited. One builds the life he wants. One keeps explaining why he can't. One dominates. One is dominated.
There is no third option.
Twelve months from now, you'll be one of them either way.
The only question is which one you decided to be today.
| The dominated man | The man who decides |
|---|---|
| Asks for permission | Makes the call |
| Says no, then explains for an hour | Says no once |
| Waits to be invited | Makes the plan others join |
| Rereads her messages | Asks her out |
| Lets old failures hold him back | Tries again this year |
| Waits to feel ready | Moves, and gets ready on the way |
“Be everything people fear to be. Bold enough to disappoint. Shameless enough to want it all. Fearless enough to take your place. Let them adjust.
P.S. Nobody at your funeral will stand up and say, “He was very reasonable.” They'll tell stories about what you did. Make sure there's one worth telling.
P.P.S. Every week you wait, someone else decides a little more of your life. The decision is yours now.
If 18-Year-Old You Saw Your Life Today, Would He Be Proud or Embarrassed?
You can't change what he'd see today. You can change what he'd see next year.