Stop Waiting to Feel Good Enough.
Start Going After What You Want.

You want more money. A relationship where she pulls you closer when you get into bed. Time for the things you keep putting off.

You want to say what you think without spending the next hour worrying how it sounded.

You want to enjoy your own plans without rehearsing a fucking explanation for why you made them.

You’ll disappoint yourself for years to avoid disappointing someone else for an afternoon.

Their disappointment is a reason to change your plans.

Your disappointment is something you’re supposed to get over.

And when you finally want to put yourself first, you feel selfish.

How the fuck did your own life become the one thing you’re allowed to keep letting down?

Here’s what you were taught to doubt.

You are the prize.

“Don’t be selfish.” “Don’t get above yourself.” “Who do you think you are?”

If you grew up hearing that whenever you wanted more, of course putting yourself first can feel wrong.

You can grow into a man and still feel like you’re doing something bad every time you choose something for yourself.

This book tears open the frames behind those decisions—the hidden rules that tell you what you’re worth, what you’re allowed to ask for, and how much disrespect, disappointment, and deprivation you’re supposed to swallow without making a fucking scene.

You don’t owe anyone a smaller life just because a bigger one would make them uncomfortable.

These fifteen laws show you how to stop letting “I’m asking too much,” “She won’t want me” and “I’ll do it when I’m ready” decide how you live.

You’ve spent enough time building a life nobody can complain about. Build one you’re fucking excited to live.

Stop holding back just to keep everyone else comfortable. Say the amount you want without adding, “But I’m flexible.” Tell her you’re interested. Put your own plans on the table. Let people hear what you actually fucking want. You’ve spent enough time hiding it. It’s time to go after it.

Your best answers do you no good when the conversation is already over. Your best ideas change nothing if you never act on them. I show you how to catch the thought that makes you freeze, start apologising or agree to something you don’t want. So you can say what you mean while there’s still something to gain—and stand by it when someone wants you to back down.

Here’s where those rules are costing you:

• Secret #1Why working your arse off still doesn’t get you taken seriously.

  People count on your time, your effort and your help. But your plans? Those can apparently fucking wait. Find out why being the man they rely on hasn’t made you the man they listen to.

• Secret #2How people get you to screw yourself over—and feel guilty for saying no.

  You know you don’t want to do it. Then comes “I thought I could count on you,” and suddenly you’re defending yourself. Find out how to spot the pressure before you give up another thing you wanted just to prove you’re not a selfish bastard.

• Secret #3How to stop killing your own chances before anyone else can reject you.

  The money you don’t ask for. The woman you never approach. The plans you keep putting off. You call it waiting for the right moment. Find out what keeps talking you out of going for it—and how to stop giving it the final fucking say.

• Secret #4How to face someone who intimidates you without acting like you’re beneath them.

  You rehearse what you’ll say. Then you’re in front of them, watering it down and laughing at shit you don’t find funny. Discover how to hold your nerve and say what you came to say—even when you badly want their approval.

• Secret #5How to stop being the man they push until he folds.

  You say no. They keep asking. You explain. They argue. Eventually, you give in just to end the fucking conversation. Discover what has to change when people have learned that your “no” means “keep trying.”

• Secret #6How to go after the woman you want without begging to be wanted back.

  You like her. Suddenly, every text needs rewriting and your whole fucking mood depends on her reply. Learn how to make your move without chasing a reply or changing yourself to keep her interested.

• Secret #7How to become the man who gets things going.

  You want friends around your table, a Friday night worth going out for, and plans that survive past “We should do that sometime.” But you keep waiting for someone else to make it happen. Find out how to bring people into your plans—and stop waiting for a fucking invitation.

• Secret #8Why “I can’t lose this” makes you accept almost anything.

  You need the job. You don’t want her to leave. Discover how to stand by your decisions when the thought of losing either makes you fold.